Why are we, as the church, afraid to teach the deep principals of grace and forgiveness to our youth?
I’m not talking about the vague “we’re all sinners and need grace and the forgiveness of Christ” lessons that are everywhere. I’m not talking about the thirty minute sermons on the fallen state of mankind and how much we need grace. What I am talking about is the real thing in action – the act of grace and what it means for us as Christians, how it works and what it does in us when we accept it. The deep, soul-level change that occurs the second someone accepts the healing power of God. The fundamental, spiritual revival that takes a dead, disgusting, broken heart and changes it, breathes life into it, and makes it into something new, and then what that means for us as born again believers.
I’m sure some of you are thinking, “But we do talk about that!” and we do, to an extent. But when it comes down to it, there seems to be some sort of disconnect between that powerful work and the changes it wrought in us, and the knowledge of it, of which the young Christians and the youth in our churches are unaware. Allow me to explain.
If you were to ask any Christian teenager what they are, in a biblical perspective, what would the majority of their answers be? “A sinner saved by grace”, generally. And while, on the surface, that’s a good answer, once you dig deeper, it becomes a little disconcerting. For example, most of them are more focused on the sinner part than the grace part. Ask a Christian youth if they’re holy and pure, and their answer will be, “No. I’m disgusting and sinful and stained. I’m a sinner.” They’ll use words like “flawed" and “dirty” and “broken”. (Words I have personally heard dozens and dozens of saved, born again Christian youth use to describe themselves.)
While all those words were once true of us all, they do not use these words in a past sense. There is no was or used to be in their sentences. And though we all still possess a sin nature, the disconcerting thing to me is that these saved, born again children of God still view themselves the same way we view those who have never been saved or known the presence of God in their lives. In fact, they seem unaware of the change having the Holy Ghost inside of them has made in them. In their minds, they’re still just sinners. They look at themselves as broken, lost, disgusting humans who have received the gift of Grace, yet are unaware of what that grace has done for them.
It's as if they see grace as a gift they can hold in their hands, or wear as a badge, but that hasn't actually changed them out of a sinner into something else. And likewise, because they are unaware of the soul-level change the gift of Christ has begun in them, they're left uncertain of their salvation and their own security in it.
How? For starters, this limited view of grace and its effects on them as a person undermines the very foundation of their view of forgiveness. Since they view grace as only a vague covering that “conceals” the dirty sinner underneath, instead of a soul-changing action, they do not view past sins or current mistakes as gone. Instead, they continue to believe themselves tainted by them, like a pile of sins that continues to grow at their feet and scars marked in their skin. They're ashamed and dirty feeling, long after salvation is theirs, to a point where they feel the need to seek salvation over and over, like it's a temporary shower to wash off their guilt until the next mistake.
Moreover, the times the change caused by salvation is spoken of to youth, it's phrased as much to inspire more doubt. “You should be changed by your salvation,” is a phrase I have heard dozens of times at Bible camps, youth gatherings, and Sunday school teachings. The subtle - or rather, not so subtle - use of “should” is a weapon easily creating doubt in the minds of Christian youth, as it raises questions such as: “Have I changed enough? Am I different enough? Have I become good enough, or am I still unsaved and destined for hellfire??”
Instead of the change being something God works in us over time and through His Spirit, it's made out to be a measuring stick that determines whether or not we’ve done something enough to feel secure in our salvation. “If you're saved, you won't lie.” “If you're saved, you won't be disrespectful.” “If you're really saved, you would be helpful without complaining, always be kind to others, etc. etc.” And since we can never do enough - or not do enough - for any such reassurance, it plants seeds of doubt and insecurity. The change brought to our lives by salvation is suddenly no longer a reassurance, but a fifty foot high measuring stick which no one can hope to reach.
So what is the right way to view these things? And what is the cause of all this confusion around the subject of grace and forgiveness and the resulting effect/change it has on those who receive it?
The foundation of it all is salvation, grace, and forgiveness, and what all that really means for those who have accepted Christ into their lives. It's not a limited covering concealing the filth underneath. Those who are given it aren't simply covered over with a new coat of paint so they “look” presentable. This viewpoint of limited grace is not only biblically inaccurate, it is impossible. If Christ’s blood could only buy us all a “fresh coat of paint” variety of grace - a thin shield for our underlying sins - then it wouldn't have been enough to save any of us. We cannot walk into God’s holy, righteous presence simply sporting a new paint job. To enter into the presence of God, we must be completely, entirely blameless - washed clean to the very core, with every ounce of filth and dirt cast aside so far that it no longer is even in existence. If this soul-deep cleansing, mind-changing, sin-erasing change did not occur in us - if, in short, the titles of “dirty”, “broken”, “disgusting”, “sinner”, etc., weren't fully eradicated from our very souls and beings - then we would still be damned (in the most biblical form of the word). Nothing short of complete and total change in title, soul, body, and mind would be enough to allow us the communion with God that comes instantly upon our salvation, in the form of the Holy Spirit who then lives inside us.
I think, then, that the next confusion - which helps result in the confusion of what Grace really is, the two playing off of each other - is in how we can be fully blameless and cleansed while still possessing a sin nature. This becomes a confusion because we, as the human race, are very linear. We view our salvation as an act in our past, wherein we gave past sins to God. But that is not how salvation works - when we are saved, we are not only washed clean of every past act, but also every single future sin, as well. In that moment of accepting salvation, God forgives every single discretion we have done and will do for the entirety of our lives - the very first and the very last and every last one in-between. They're already eradicated before we ever even commit them, because time has no effect on the status of our rebirth, salvation, and cleanliness. It's all erased at once, so no matter what mistakes we then commit in the future, it has no effect on our standing with Christ, because those things have already been forgiven.
Grace is not subject to time and it is not limited. Future acts are not capable of destroying that work in us, thus we are forever sealed and secure in His bride. There is nothing we can do to change that, nothing we can do to lose it. Once saved, we are no longer sinners, but Children of God, part of His Bride, justified, purified, and holy in His sight. To continue to call ourselves sinners, filthy, gross, and stained is an insult to the complete and final work of salvation done in us. God revoked those titles and labels as soon as we accepted the gift of salvation, threw them to the ends of the Earth, and made them no more in His sight. Jesus's words of “It is finished” did not mean “until the next time you sin”. And His holy sacrifice wasn't just “enough to cover our sins”, but enough to wash them away entirely. Once saved, we forever hold the titles His sacrifice bought for us, and none others.
Yet… These truths are often taught with stipulations and warnings tacked on the end, as if this truth is subject to “if”s and “as long as”s. Rarely do you hear a sermon preaching the utterly freeing knowledge that we are bought, cleansed, and redeemed, the end. That this salvation is one that can never be lost or tainted. That the new life Grace has given us and the change salvation wrought in us is complete and final, free and clear, no matter the mistakes we are bound to make. That we are, forever, holy in His sight, rather than lost sinners, soiled by our sins.
Why? Why is this incredible and freeing knowledge of the depth of grace and forgiveness so often suppressed and limited by stipulations and warnings and cautions, to the point that it loses its potency and ability to reassure? Why is grace and forgiveness turned into something so limited in the viewpoints of the Christian youth, so that doubt and confusion run rampant?
I’ve viewed these things in more Christians than not. It's unusual when I talk to young Christians that I find them confident in their faith and what it has done for them. It's even more rare that when asked about their state as a human, they don't answer with the same words we use for those without the presence of God in their lives. And, as mentioned in my previous post, even rarer still for these kids to understand what grace, forgiveness, and righteousness even means in relation to themselves and be able to let go of their guilt and pain.
So why is this the case?
I think it is best summed up by the words I have heard often from older Christians: “People use unlimited grace as an excuse to do whatever they please and keep sinning.”
While this is true, it's an invalid reason to limit our youths’ view of grace. And before anyone gets angry about that and spews all the statistics of how many “Christian” people are living in sin and flaunting that as their reason it's “okay”, allow me to explain why it's invalid.
The reason is simple: If they're blatantly living in sin, ungrieved by their actions and unrepentant for their lifestyle, then they aren't Christians. They aren't being swayed by the Holy Ghost, they aren't feeling the sting of a conscience made new and sharpened by God, so they aren't saved. Regardless of their claims and despite their “reasoning”, they have no fruit of faith, so they aren't Children of God. It's that simple.
So if that is the case, if these people aren't part of the bride of Christ, but imposters blatantly living a sin-filled life without a thought of remorse, then the argument is invalid. Why are we teaching our youth in a way based on what unsaved sinners are doing and how they're living? Why are we watering down the reality of Christ’s forgiveness and grace and our own redemption based on the actions of the unsaved? Why are we letting those without God in their lives scare us into threatening, cautioning, scolding, and seeding doubt in the minds of our saved youth and young Christians??
Since when do we allow the sins of the unsaved to mar the teachings of the Word of God to our own, simply because those sinners are masquerading as some of us? Why are we listening to and changing our manners of teaching based on the actions of wolves in sheep's clothing?
“But our kids might decide it's okay to go do whatever they want if they’re taught grace is limitless and complete. They’ll use it as an excuse to get away with things.” Even though this line of thought isn't usually spoken aloud - though I have heard it talked about - it screams between the lines every time a lesson on grace is finished with a warning of, “But this doesn't mean you can act just any way you want. Salvation should change you and you should be living a righteous life, where you don't *adds large list of do-nots* and do *adds even long list of do-s*, and you should be on fire for God more than *long list of things they think youth are attached to more than God*, and if you don't feel that passion for Him, you should examine your heart and make sure you're really living for Him and are really saved.”
The number of times I heard this end to an otherwise fabulous message on grace is astounding. And every single time as a young person, it destroyed all power that message on grace had over me. I went from thinking, “Wow. God is so incredible and forgiving, the power of his grace is indescribable… I can't believe I’m really, fully, completely cleansed,” to doubting my own salvation, seeking for signs of being “good” enough in myself, wondering if I was “really living for him” and “really had signs of faith” or if I was still just “going through the motions”. I could never find that elusive passion for Christ the youth ministers raved about. I could think of so many things I had done wrong, name a dozen things in their list I should have done and hadn't, and all reassurance evaporated as soon as it came.
Because they said grace was free, but then added stipulations.
Because they promised His love was unconditional, and then added a hundred conditions.
Because they told us it was all Him, all His love, free and as simple as accepting, and then complicated it by telling us all the ways we needed to see change in ourselves to know we were saved, including an illusive passion that my troubled, confused teenage heart couldn't understand, since I had no idea what real love even was.
And so, limitless grace became limited. Free forgiveness became complicated and pricy. Unconditional love became conditioned. God-wrought change became my responsibility. Security and confidence in salvation and my relationship with God became doubt and confusion. My status as saved vs. unsaved became questionable and unsure and seemingly up to me.
The words of their sermons on grace and forgiveness warred with their terms and conditions.
All because those older than I were afraid that teaching the concept of unlimited, timeless, final grace might give me an opportunity to use that as an excuse to sin.
As always, I was one of the lucky ones. I’d come home from confusing sermons and have my parents’ guidance, love, and unwavering, unconditional grace at every turn to reassure and remind me. My sisters and I would talk about how grace really is and I would find my reassurance once again. For me, the fear and doubt was outweighed by my family's actions and example.
Most kids don't have that type of support and love to fall back on. So most of these kids continue to live in fear and doubt and insecurity, viewing themselves still as lost sinners with a thin covering of grace and constantly reevaluating themselves for some kind of reassurance that they're really saved - or else getting resaved dozens of times because of unquenchable doubts.
So what is this mysterious change that let's us - and others - know that we are members of the Bride of Christ and saved eternally? And how does it differ from the cautionary teachings mentioned before?
It's not being perfect. It's not doing all the right things and avoiding all the bad with a perfect record. It's not some mysterious, crazy thing that suddenly, miraculously clears us of all our faults and flaws. Someone with a temper isn't going to get saved and suddenly find themselves the most placid person alive. Someone who struggles with lying isn't going to suddenly never lie again.
The change is simply this: That quiet place in your chest that aches when you mess up. The part of your mind that knows you’ve done wrong and hates that you have. The moment after sinning when your lips whisper, “I’m sorry, Father,” with heaviness. The change is wanting to do better. The change is being saddened by your sin and wanting to overcome those faults. The change is trying, simply because you want to please Him, not because you think it's a way to earn that forgiveness. It's not complicated. It's not a list of a million things. It's not a do or do-not list. It's not a mysterious passion that no one can actually define. It's that part of you that comes alive and sees sin as wrong and God as good and wishes to please Him, even when you make mistakes and mess up.
Chances are, if you're worried about if you're doing good enough/if you’re pleasing Him/if you're really saved, you’re already forgiven, already made new by grace. And if you are drowning in guilt, broken by the knowledge of your sin, desperate for His forgiveness, then you already have it.
Those who have not been changed by the call of the Holy Ghost and do not have Him in their lives do not have knowledge of Him nor want to please Him. They do not regret things He has said are wrong nor wish to be better and do better in the future because the Bible says those things are sinful. If sins you’ve committed are bothering you and you have already asked Him into your life, then know this - His grace is sufficient, His love is unconditional, your sins of past, present, and future are forgotten, and your name is no longer Sinner. It is enough to rest in His arms. It is enough to know He has done it all. Nothing you do, nothing you will ever do, will take this assurance from you, no matter what people say.
Rejoice, your sins are forgiven, until the end of time.
Rejoice, Christ has done it all.
Rejoice, your shame is gone.
Rejoice, all your old titles are tossed away, as far as the East is from the West. You are no longer called sinner. You are no longer called filthy. You are no longer called disgusting. You are no longer called broken. And if anyone else continues to call you these things or to rub your past sins in your face, then remind them what Grace really is, not it's limited counterfeit version, but it's limitless, true version that has revoked every former title and erased every sin and flaw in you, to the end of time.
And for those of us in positions to guide those younger than us - whether in years or faith - let's stop limiting grace. Let's stop putting conditions on unconditional love because we’re afraid of those who use it as an excuse and that those younger than us will do the same. Those under Christ’s grace and forgiveness and the guidance of the Holy Ghost won’t be led astray by those thoughts, grounded by His presence in their lives - a presence that cannot be undone by mankind. So let's stop trying to control young Christians by warnings and threats and glossing over the true reaches of grace because we're afraid of what they might do with the knowledge. Fear and threats have never saved a soul - God’s work in their lives has. We cannot somehow undermine that work by teaching grace the way it is, with truth and power. And the outcome of their salvation is in God’s hands, where it should be, not in ours, by some sneaky method of teaching that, in the end, only confuses those who are already saved.
I'm not saying we stop teaching right and wrong, simply that we stop doing it in a way that creates doubt and uncertainty, as stipulations and conditions.
Let's go back to teaching grace as the magnificent, timeless, endless, limitless thing it is. Let's go back to giving our youth reasons to rejoice in God’s love, rather than forcing them to live in fear, insecurity, and doubt. Let's go back to shouting praises of God’s salvation and greatness, directing our youth’s eyes to the wonder and awe of who He is and what He has done for us, rather than pointing their gazes at themselves and their faults and mistakes, and “do and don't” lists they can never keep.
Let's stop controlling them with fear of failure and mistakes, and start teaching them respect, love, and awe for the God who saved them and made them whole.
