I’ve never had a crush. This is an admission that I’ve made to many people over the years, and which has generated a single question in response – “Why not?”
It’s certainly not a sign of my lack of interest in things like love and marriage - I'd love to get married someday - and while I do tend to be easily flustered, I don’t think it’s due to that either. My response to this question, when I feel comfortable enough to share it, is simply: I’m spoiled.
Now don’t take me wrong. I don’t think this is a bad kind of spoiled to be. What I mean by that is, from an early age, I knew what a godly man looked like. My family is full of them, showing me a clear picture of what it is to be a good man.
Anyone who knows my father can tell you that he’s special. He has an easy way of speaking to anyone he meets – he’s kind, and funny, and humble. He offers to help anywhere he can, within the church and out. He provides for his family endlessly. He helps the neighbors, is the type of person that’s the stable glue that holds people together. He’s honest, and he’s gentle, and he’s always made me feel safe and loved and happy.
My best childhood memories center around my dad when he was home – playing with him on the living room floor, him spinning us around in circles as we squealed in delight, curling up in his lap in the evenings while movies played on the TV. From as early as I can remember, my father has been the kind of light that only shines from those who love Christ deeply. And now that I’m older, I know how lucky I am to have a dad like him. Not many have been “spoiled” by having such a wonderful man as their father the way I was. I’ve been lucky to have grown up knowing what a good, godly man looks like, from living a wonderful life shadowed by my father’s protection and love.
I was also spoiled by knowing other men in my family. I was privileged in being close to my cousin Andrew growing up, and as we’ve gotten bigger, I’ve seen him change from a geeky, fun, fantastic playmate into a hard-working, caring, godly young man. He’s kind, and sweet, and even though I’m probably a bit biased as his twin-cousin – lol – I’m incredibly proud of the way he’s grown into one of the best young men I know. He has always taken the time at family events to seek me out, ask about my life, and tell me about his in return – to ask my advice, or offer it to me when I’ve needed it. He’s respectful, and thoughtful of others, and though he’s currently far from home, doing wonderful work, and I miss him terribly, I couldn’t be prouder of who he’s becoming.
My Grandpa Jones, too, has spoiled me by showing me such a godly example of what a man should be. From the time I was small, I can remember noticing how much love he showed my grandmother, and wanted that for my future, as well. His slightly-hidden mischievous side and sense of humor, his kindness and warmth, all have shown me, and continue to show me, what it is to love as Christ loves.
And those are only to name a few. I’ve always been surrounded by men who have set the bar high. I know none of them are perfect, and it’s not even that I’ve ever expected them to be. It’s simply that they’ve loved Christ, endeavored to please Him, and have held themselves accountable to the Word of God. They’ve been kind to others, incredibly fun to be around, have always been willing to help me, or laugh with me, or just be a part of my life.
There aren’t many men like them. They’re special and rare. And I think that finding someone like that is well worth the wait.
So no. I’ve never had a crush. I’m still waiting on someone special, and rare, and good the way that the other men in my family have always been. Someone who will love my dad for his humor, who I can be proud to introduce to my grandpa, and who will have long chats with my cousin when he’s home for family gatherings.
So this one is to all the men in my life – to those who are fantastic dads this Father’s Day, and those who I know will make utterly fantastic dads when it’s their turn. You’ve set the bar high, and I’m glad you have. Thank you for “spoiling” me.
I love you all.